In this Psalm, David explains his current state, and once you get to know David you realize he has many, let's call them "states" throughout his life. Many times we learn a lot about David while he is running for his life. But throughout the blood, gore, and war that made up David's life, he has this soft, sweet, beautiful soul at the same time, which is the most enchanting enigma. This mighty man of war, was an absolute ladies man, he played the peaceful harp, is a renowned childhood hero for defeating a 9 foot giant, and is also an incredibly talented poet! That to me, depicts the captivating concept of a soul. All of that (and more) can reside in the unique personality and character that made up just one man in his life time. You cannot convince me a soul is not a real thing. Nor do I believe science could ever adequately prove or explain the concept of a soul the way it exists, as the Bible has.

At this point in David's life, he's writing about how his heart is in a good state. In the Amplified (AMP) translation of the Holy Bible, David says "My heart overflows with a good theme; I address my psalm to the King. My tongue is like the pen of a skillful writer."
I don't consider myself a writer, and could certainly never hold a candle to the David. Nor to his wise and equally, or arguably more talented son, Solomon. Let alone any of the authors of today, I just read and talk. However, this verse moved me. Naturally, as someone who's made a so called talent out of being verbose, you begin to ponder your punishable super power. Might this unsuspecting ability I wield, to talk until I lose my voice, be used for good? My best friend asked me recently if perhaps that's the talent or gift I've been trying to locate. Could the accolade of writing the most words per minute in grade 3, allow me to write?

These questions came at a time when I realized I resonated with each one of David's various states. Where seemingly everything that could ever go wrong, has indeed gone wrong, yet, you sing. You're all too familiar with the routine of fleeing death and what it takes to avoid destruction, yet, you play music. While begging for mercy and deliverance from darkness, you love, you forgive those who hurt you, time and time again. You have seen and lived through some of the most traumatic situations, most of which are probably best kept to yourself, yet, you dance. That's when I rediscovered this verse in the Bible. It resonated with my soul in the current state I was in. When very few know the battles you face, but you can still say: "I love God", "I'm in a good state", "I know He will redeem my soul", and you believe and mean what you say. "God is so good to me."  Even in my worst state, it's true! That's what inspired me to write. I intend to glorify God. I aim to share the good news through the empiricism of my lived experience. We all start lost, we all feel a void, but what fills our void inside? I write for the soul who wants to know.

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 The only reason I have this hope "to reach a soul" is because I've come to know the most beautiful love story to ever exist. This story is teeming with uncomfortably violent action; thrilling characters, steamy love affairs, utterly detailed history, disturbing backstories, and unfathomable rebellion, restoration, and redemption. The climax of which is the ultimate sacrifice: the lover pays a price that is so expensive no one else could pay it, or be worthy enough to even make an offer of the debt owed. Once paid, it allowed the opportunity for the lover and the beloved to be together. It's a true love story of forgiveness and redemption from the most devastating betrayal, with a required price. A price paid that issued a pardon for every mistake ever made - intentionally and unintentionally. The cliffhanger is gut-wrenching, though. The main character's love interest (the beloved) gets to make the choice - as is the beauty of innate free will. They can choose to believe the one who loves them is real and would do that for them, essentially accepting this love story. Or, that it's simply too good to be true and thus must be make believe, and reject the one who paid it all for them. Can you fathom that someone could love you so much they would pay to have you forever with their very own life? The lover knows that on the day they meet face to face, the beloved will finally see, the story is true. They'll realize, after all, it is not a fable. The lover respectfully allows the beloved to decide on their own. Depending on what the beloved decides, will determine whether they get to spend the rest of their lives together or apart. Because, isn't love about being chosen? Love isn't something that can be forced, it's a choice. A choice that can't be carried out one-sided. Every single day, waking up and choosing that same person over and over again. Believing that love is a real thing and that the other soul indeed has that love for you, and chooses you. That's precisely the catch-22 about the beloved's free will, you see. Their free will affords them the ability to determine on their own, whether they believe the story is true, and ultimately if their love is reciprocal towards the one who loves them. While the beloved gets the autonomy to decide, they only have one life to make their choice. If the wrong choice is made when the timer runs out, they can't go back. I say "wrong choice" because, if they don't choose their lover back; they spend the rest of eternity without each other, separated forever from their one true love! While every story must end, there is an intense sequence of particularly shocking events that lead up to the final decision: where the lovers meet. So what did the beloved choose? Has the beloved lived a life evident of believing in a love so powerful and sacrificial it's at times incomprehensible to the human mind? Does their life exemplify the reciprocity of their choice and that same love on their end? Or do they settle for something easier to understand and subsequently follow, struggling to find a love so passionate and real elsewhere? So while the story comes to a close presenting the highly anticipated final decision, we don't find out what decision was made! It's one of those books where it leaves the readers, who are brave enough to read and study the book, to decide for themselves. Do they believe in a love so intense? Could it be true? The best part of this powerful love story is that the reader is you. You are the beloved.

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I write as someone who, after trying to fill this mysterious void with everything the world has to offer, learned it was never enough. It didn't satiate this greater emptiness that somehow still remained in deceptively good or positive times. I write as a reader of the greatest love story, who was familiar with it, but made the mistake of not giving it the necessary effort to know for sure. I write after a lifetime of experience and poor choices. I write gratefully, having been given the grace and opportunity to rethink my decision. I write confidently, to affirm, that I know the correct answer. A love so enormous truly exists. When you finally choose the right answer full-heartedly, you get glimpses of a love that never runs out, awaiting you forever. A love you don't need to wait for because there are tangible experiences where you get to know the one who loves you most, better than anyone ever could. All while anticipating the moment you meet. It's the thing you've been searching for, finally filling the void that nothing else could.  Emboldening you to live life desperate to meet the one who loves you, paid it all for you, and longs to meet you face to face, and spend eternity with you. As you anticipate the day you'll meet, you find concealed love notes leading you, courageously closer.

How could I ever keep that in? The thought of missing even one opportunity to share this true story with someone who hasn't heard it, let alone, come up with their answer, keeps me up at night. That heavy sense of urgency in my heart, coupled with my experience of running from that truth, inspired me to write. I wasted so much time before committing the necessary required effort to sit down and seriously consider this. Only to find I still have time to make the right choice. I intend to write about everything I've learned. I found the love that fills the void. There is a way out of the emptiness, darkness, pain, traumatic memories, hurt, confusion, and despondency. There is only one way to fill the void and walk around fearless, hopeful in chaos, awaiting love beyond just this life. The only requirement is to believe the truth. Do you know what happens after this life? Do you know why you're here? Your purpose? Did you know the void you've been attempting to fill only has one satisfactory fit? It's in the love story.

For anyone who is willing to read on, I write for you.